If you have ever experienced coding, you probably know this feeling.
Imagine your code is working perfectly. Everything is clean, structured, and sitting exactly where it should. You are running tests, making tiny changes here and there, refreshing the page, running the program again, and watching the outputs carefully.
And somewhere deep inside, you slowly start feeling proud of yourself.
Because this thing that works… was created by you.
It came from your mind, took shape from your ideas, and now it almost feels alive.
But then imagine that exact moment when you change just one parameter and… boooom.
Nothing is where it used to be anymore.
Your creation does nothing but throw errors.
The beautiful structure that existed a few moments ago is suddenly gone, and everything feels like it is collapsing.
If you are lucky, the Undo button still saves you, or maybe you have a backup you can restore. Otherwise, you spend hours searching for a problem without even knowing where it really started, trying to bring everything back to normal again.
But what do you actually feel in that exact moment of “boom”?
My face turns red.
My heart starts racing, and for a few seconds it feels as if everything inside my mind goes dark.
A while ago, I started thinking that maybe the thing I call God, a higher force, a higher dimension, or whatever name people choose for it, might feel the same way while looking at me.
Maybe when I behave differently from what was expected of me, it also becomes anxious.
Maybe it wants to Undo everything and restore the previous version of me — the version that behaved according to the program.
Maybe it keeps adding new features to me, placing me in different situations, and observing my reactions just to see what the output will be.
Maybe its heart races too when I fail to produce the expected result, and maybe it also feels like throwing its monitor out the window.
I don’t know.
The idea that someone might have coded me feels strange.
The thought that all these events could simply be tests to measure my resilience, my reactions, and my growth feels vague and unsettling.
But if this idea is true, then I have to admit that a very skilled programmer is sitting behind my operating system…